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We don’t think, ‘Hold your horses, cartoon characters can’t make albums’ – we just wonder how Gorillaz sold so many albums in the states when 2D’s teeth were such a state. Of course, nobody would suggest that Damon Albarn is a cunt – he was far too pretty in his twenties to ever be truly hateable – but if you need proof of how far we’ve come since the first Gorillaz album dropped four years ago, look no further than how unextraordinary the band’s high concept shenanigans seem now. You are, to all intents and purposes, a cunt. Congratulations: you’ve just invented the Crazy Frog. You’d pair your popstar with the world’s most can’t-get-out-of-your-headable tune, and once the entire project reached critical mass, you’d whack out a single. And since we live in such modern times, you’d promote this new popstar not through the conventional channels, like the gig circuit or CD:UK, but through some semi-interactive platform, to really make the whole thing come alive. You’d do something to make sure The Kids’ parents didn’t understand the appeal – it’s the punk rock way, after all. If you were to invent a pop act right now, where would you begin? Well, human beings take too many drugs and start boo-hooing when they don’t get their own way, so you’d create something, like a cartoon character, to front the whole shebang.